5 Reasons Women Should Enjoy Masturbating

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Although feminism is making waves and changing things for the better, there’s still so much more that needs to change. A lot of people often ask me why I talk and write about my body (mainly my vagina) so much and it’s simple really. As long as men (or anyone who isn’t myself) tries to police my body, the more I will talk about it. Women are either slut-shamed or hyper sexualised, there’s no in between. We have very little control over how our bodies are perceived and we can’t win anyway. It feels revolutionary and empowering to defy expectations of women and not only love my myself, but to be vocal about it too.

 

Growing up, one of my favourite misconceptions was that masturbation was only fun for men. Hahahahahahahaha!

 

Nothing pisses off MRA’s and sexists like a woman owning her sexuality, so I’m here to share all the reasons I like masturbating.

It’s an act of self-love

It’s true! Recognising your needs and not depriving yourself of them is totally an act of self-love. Sexuality and sexual wellbeing for me play a strong part in feeling good about myself. This may not be the case for every woman, but I tend to feel a lot better about myself when I’m not being slut-shamed. Too many young girls grow up feeling confused about these ‘weird’ urges they don’t understand and it’s wrong for so many reasons.

It’s helps you feel more body positive

So many of us forget that there is a clear link between masturbation about loving yourself. It’s amazing how much my perception of myself changed once I took the time to turn myself on. If you don’t know your body, how can you love it?

It’s also a feminist act

I hate to break it to you (okay, that’s a lie. I’m secretly loving it!), but masturbation is a feminist issue. Anything a woman does, that has stigma attached to it, is pretty much a feminist issue. Even more so, when it’s something as normal as masturbating. To me, owning your sexuality is a revolutionary feminist act and I urge every woman to do it.

It reaffirms that sex isn’t all about penetration

Most misconceptions about female sexuality enrage me, but this one just confuses me. I never understand why so many people think sex equals penetration, especially when some women can’t even climax from penetrative sex alone. Clit play is an essential part of climaxing for a lot of women which means it should be an essential part of sex too. With so many different industries hell bent on making sure women don’t enjoy anything, it’s so empowering making yourself orgasm. Masturbation has also helped me realise what I needed to ask for during penetrative sex too. It’s also improved foreplay for me massively. What’s hotter than looking at the person you’re about to have sex with whilst touching yourself?

It’s a instant mood booster

This is a really important point. There’s such a huge stigma around female pleasure, especially when they achieve it themselves. I remember, when I was younger, feeling very weird and ashamed when I wanted to touch myself. I was sexually active as a young teen, but didn’t experience an orgasm until I was 21/22. I didn’t fully embrace my sexuality until last year! Masturbation is a multifunctional artform. I masturbate when I want to beat the hangover horn, I masturbate when I’m stressed out, I masturbate when I’m feeling really unfocused, I masturbate when I can’t sleep. Sometimes I masturbate just because!

Masturbation makes me feel good in so many ways, why should I be ashamed of that?

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21 Comments

  1. Stressed Mum January 27, 2016 / 1:20 pm

    There are some great points here, and have to agree with them all, it is nothing to be ashamed of or feel bad about it is something that is natural

  2. Meghan Sara January 27, 2016 / 1:29 pm

    Aaaaaand it can help you get off to sleep if your mind is racing! 😉 Great post!

    Meghan Sara
    meghansara.com

  3. rachelramblingon January 27, 2016 / 1:38 pm

    I love this! It’s so honest, it’s actually so refreshing to see this! It’s the sort of thing I wish I’d read when I was a bit younger. Thank you for sharing!! Xoxo

  4. Mellissa Williams January 27, 2016 / 2:43 pm

    Women shouldn’t be ashamed of it. Some women aren’t as confident about saying what you do however, but they still agree 🙂

  5. DannyUK January 27, 2016 / 4:19 pm

    Great post. There should be no shame in this kind of thing, regardless of sex!

    • Tara | C&CO. January 27, 2016 / 4:30 pm

      Amen!

  6. Liz @distract_me January 27, 2016 / 4:28 pm

    Hangover horn?! It’s hard for me to imagine e a time when I’m less horny. Period horn, however…

    • Tara | C&CO. January 27, 2016 / 4:29 pm

      Hahaha, it’s a real thing I promise!

  7. Irene Scavello January 27, 2016 / 6:11 pm

    Finally, someone saying things how they are! I do see masturbating as an act of self love, one of the best ones, really – as Paramore say: “Fall in love with yourself / Someday you’re gonna be the only one you’ve got”!

  8. Life as Mum January 27, 2016 / 8:01 pm

    Such an honest post! I wouldn’t of been able to be so honest about this subject so well done to you

  9. TheLondonMum January 27, 2016 / 8:21 pm

    It’s so important that this is taught to girls before they start having sex, it’s the taboo side of sexuality which it shouldn’t be.

    • Tara | C&CO. January 27, 2016 / 8:22 pm

      I agree. My mum was great when it came to “the sex talk”, but masturbation was never mentioned.

  10. Hello Beautiful Bear January 27, 2016 / 10:51 pm

    I just love how refreshingly honest you are about things like this, I wish more people weren’t afraid to speak out and say what they think and feel.
    I agree with everything that you’ve put and you’ve actually made me take a step back and think about what my views are on feminism as I’ve never really thought about it properly
    X

  11. Ana De Jesus January 27, 2016 / 11:24 pm

    I agree! I talk very openly about female masturbation and at first my friends were grossed out or thought that it was weird. To which I replied owning your body is not weird it is empowering and gives me pleasure what more could I want?

  12. Emma Whitee January 27, 2016 / 11:43 pm

    Hey I have 6 kids and a head full of stress sif a little play at the end of a long day is going to make me relax and feel good then I am all for a little self play

  13. Erin January 28, 2016 / 5:00 am

    “Sexuality and sexual wellbeing for me play a strong part in feeling good about myself.”

    This is so incredibly true for me as well. When I haven’t masturbated for a couple of days I become very irritable and my emotions are very turbulent. It really helps my mental health and is a great way to regulate my moods.

    I really admire you for writing this – the conversation needs to be brought up more. I’ve actually noticed my friends being more open about talking about stuff like this over the last year or so – hopefully lack of shame is leading to people being more open.

  14. Dannii @ Hungry Healthy Happy January 28, 2016 / 11:56 am

    I have never understood why there is used to be shame in it, but I don’t think there is much shame in it now, not that I have seen anyway. Everyone seems pretty chilled out about it.

    • Tara | C&CO. January 28, 2016 / 12:04 pm

      You’d be surprised. Slutshaming is still very prominent in society. Just look at Kanye *still* shaming his ex Amber Rose for instance.

  15. Anna (@DontCrampMyBlog) January 28, 2016 / 11:25 pm

    As soon as I saw the title i opened with excitement like a little girl! damn me 😉 (you should see the blush on my chicks ) haha I grow up in family and community where masturbation was something ashaming, no im wrong- masturbation was something no one talked about! How could they! such a bad bad thing 🙂 I still have that little in me… im lttle ashamed to talk about it. Which s weird. how they say, you can get girl out of town but you never get that town of girl 😉 or something like that. I love your honest posts, and you made me realising im not the only one with hangover horn hahha (upss I said that lol )

  16. Rhi February 2, 2016 / 2:41 pm

    I was a late bloomer with this and never even realised it was a thing till I was 19! And it was actually my boyfriend that introduced me to it! So I definitely agree it should be talked about more. I completely agree about it allowing you to really find your sexuality and learn about your body. I honestly wish I’d have started sooner and did it more so I’d been less afraid. Plus it makes sex much better when you can tell the guy what to do 😉

Cat got your tongue?