Eliminate Girl on Girl Hate with Shine Theory
Are you after a more empowering and positive atmosphere in your life? This post is definitely for you.
I would say that Shine Theory is directly correlated to sisterhood and feminism, which means I’m all for it. In a nutshell, it’s about befriending successful women instead of competing with them. Sometimes when we meet women who are happier, confident and more successful, we can take it the completely wrong way. I can’t speak for every woman of course, but I know, in the past, my first reaction has been “what’s she so confident about?” when I’ve been around confident women. Can we just take to moment and realise how absurd it is to dislike a woman just because she is happy and sure of herself?
Don’t be so hard on yourself if you’d had these thoughts before though. We live in a patriarchal society where, more often than not, men have power and privilege in many aspects of their lives. This means there is pretty much slim pickings for women and when we meet somebody who is happy – it means there’s even less for us. So it’s only natural to feel envious, especially when society already pits us against one another. This is all the more reason us gals need to stick together!
The practice behind Shine Theory is something we should all hopefully be doing anyway, since it’s part of being a decent human being… But I love Shine Theory for reasons besides that. Not only does it reinforce the importance of women supporting one another, it reminds us that somebody else’s success does not diminish our achievements.
The benefits of surrounding yourself with genuine, confident and successful women are endless:
- Their energy is infectious
- They will motivate you
- They will want you to succeed too
- They will support you and lift you up, instead of tearing you down
For years, women have felt like they’re second-best because there is always something telling us that. Whether it’s a man or an advert, it makes no sense to have friends making you feel bad on top of that.
It’s really hard to befriend women who intimidate us, but that’s only because we put them on this pedestal. When we start believing that we’re on the same level, wonderful things happen. Not only will it be easier to befriend them, it also challenges us to be a better version of ourselves too.
A great example of this is how my good friends, Kathy and Jess, have a positive affect on me. The two of them are super positive people and often set me straight when I’m in a bad mood. They don’t isolate or ridicule me, instead, they listen and are always the first to offer a silver lining. On top of that, they are always working hard on perfecting their craft. This drive and positive attitude has made me more motivated and I’m constantly trying to nail this positive outlook on life.
There’s nothing better than being friends with women who want you to do better, because as Ann Friedman puts it, “I don’t shine if you don’t shine“.