6 Steps To Becoming An Unapologetic Person

6 Steps To Becoming An Unapologetic Person

In a world where a lot of things are uncertain, one of the most empowering things you can do is be unapologetic. Of course, this is easier said than done. The reality is we live in a world where so many people are still discriminated against. The new president is living breathing proof that racism is still alive and well. So, I understand if you’re looking at this post thinking it’s some privileged bullshit.

The truth is, I generally try stick to what I know. I’m more vocal about these things over on Twitter. However, I do want to cover more issues and topics. This is why I have started to invite others to write here too. Did you catch Shona’s post on sex and disability? Or Halima’s post on office racism and white fragility?

I wanted to write this post because being unapologetic is one of my favourite traits. In addition to it being something I am complimented on a lot, it’s also a popular resolution. Here are some tips to help you get there.

Remind yourself other people’s opinions don’t really matter

Everyone has bad traits; some we can change and some we can’t. Self improvement is important and so is listening to others, to an extent. Remember that people can come and go from your life for all kinds of reasons. It could be something you did, something they did, or you know you’re just not compatible. Take stuff on board, but also make peace with the stuff you can’t change. There are things I don’t like about myself that others do. It’s not always you and there are people out there who will like you just fine. It’s your own opinion of yourself that matters the most.

Reject ideals

Whether it’s beauty standards or ideals surrounding where you should be in your life, fuck them. I’ve been thinking about my insecurities lately, past and present, and they all stem from unrealistic standards. This stuff is made up. It literally doesn’t matter, you do you.


Embrace your quirks

All the best people are a little weird.

Be your own cheerleader

In a society that profits from your self doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act“. Whenever I’m feeling down on myself, I try remember this quote and it really helps. Practice self love liberally. Do more of what you enjoy. Celebrate small victories. Take the selfie. Treat yourself. Make a list of things you like about yourself. Whatever makes you feel better, do it often and remind yourself you’re ace.


Inject personality into everything you do

I’m talking about the quirks and everything you like about yourself. Or it could be things you don’t like, in that case reclaim them. Do this via your writing, personal style, literally anything. There’s only one you.

Own your shit

Whether it’s spending x amount on a pair of shoes, staying home, making a bold fashion choice, or eating food, just fucking own it. I’m sick of seeing people judge others for simple indulgences or just being themselves. If you’re doing what you love, who gives a flying fuck about what everyone else thinks?


I challenge you to go and do something that scares you in an unapologetic way.

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  1. Augustin Ra
    January 21, 2017 / 9:24 am

    I truly love this! You rock, girl! And btw, I wrote the quote on my planner and shared it on my IG stories. 🙂

  2. January 22, 2017 / 12:00 am

    I needed to read this post today, and I know it goes slightly against the title of your post, but I am sorry I’ve missed some of your others posts, I’ve been busy this week! I really connected to the point you made about owning our quirks. I used to be very confident in myself until I started college and was diagnosed with depression, and while university helped me bounce back a little, I do struggle, and comments that people made about a few different things such as my own personality traits and some references about how I was being childish for my age etc. had me starting to question whether I was being adult enough in my own life (dressing a certain way, reading certain things, fitting into societal ‘norms’ for someone my age), and while it may seem very trivial and nothing compared to what others I know have been through, I have tried to change how I come across to seem more mature, but it’s made me so unhappy so I’ve slowly been getting back to the things I truly love, for the sake of loving them as you said, and embracing who I am, flaws, quirks and all, so this post is just a big reminder that I still need to work on it, but I’m getting there – so as always, thank you Tara and I loved Halima and Shona’s posts too! – Tasha

  3. January 22, 2017 / 4:00 am

    I feel like I’m someone who is always apologizing and majority of the time it’s for something really silly… so it was intriguing for me to read a topic I struggle with, from a different perspective and that’s generally why I love blogging.x

  4. January 23, 2017 / 10:58 am

    Thank you for writing this! I’ve been dealing with some horrible people in the office and reminding myself to own who I am gives them less power. It always baffles me that I am looked down upon or considered weird for having passions. <3

  5. January 23, 2017 / 6:19 pm

    This is such a helpful post. For years I constantly heard that ‘Tamsin is a nice girl but she’s extremely opinionated’ – It was meant to be negative and hurt me but I think it’s positive.. it shows that I’m not afraid to speak up or be pushed around. That was back when I worked in the motorcycle industry. Guys were intimidated. I still struggle at times but I am doing much better with dealing with people’s opinions of me. I own my shit and I’m working through rejecting ideals. It’s been hard because of beauty standards but it’s a working progress. Thanks for all you do xo

  6. February 5, 2017 / 9:15 am

    I was born a naturally unapologetic person. From wearing weird lip colors to making my own life choices, I was mostly unapologetic of what I do. That said, this will help those who are more timid – for lack of a better word – with their shit 🙂

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