In a world where a lot of things are uncertain, one of the most empowering things you can do is be unapologetic. Of course, this is easier said than done. The reality is we live in a world where so many people are still discriminated against. The new president is living breathing proof that racism is still alive and well. So, I understand if you’re looking at this post thinking it’s some privileged bullshit.
The truth is, I generally try stick to what I know. I’m more vocal about these things over on Twitter. However, I do want to cover more issues and topics. This is why I have started to invite others to write here too. Did you catch Shona’s post on sex and disability? Or Halima’s post on office racism and white fragility?
I wanted to write this post because being unapologetic is one of my favourite traits. In addition to it being something I am complimented on a lot, it’s also a popular resolution. Here are some tips to help you get there.
Remind yourself other people’s opinions don’t really matter
Everyone has bad traits; some we can change and some we can’t. Self improvement is important and so is listening to others, to an extent. Remember that people can come and go from your life for all kinds of reasons. It could be something you did, something they did, or you know you’re just not compatible. Take stuff on board, but also make peace with the stuff you can’t change. There are things I don’t like about myself that others do. It’s not always you and there are people out there who will like you just fine. It’s your own opinion of yourself that matters the most.
Whether it’s beauty standards or ideals surrounding where you should be in your life, fuck them. I’ve been thinking about my insecurities lately, past and present, and they all stem from unrealistic standards. This stuff is made up. It literally doesn’t matter, you do you.
Embrace your quirks
All the best people are a little weird.
Be your own cheerleader
“In a society that profits from your self doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act“. Whenever I’m feeling down on myself, I try remember this quote and it really helps. Practice self love liberally. Do more of what you enjoy. Celebrate small victories. Take the selfie. Treat yourself. Make a list of things you like about yourself. Whatever makes you feel better, do it often and remind yourself you’re ace.
Inject personality into everything you do
I’m talking about the quirks and everything you like about yourself. Or it could be things you don’t like, in that case reclaim them. Do this via your writing, personal style, literally anything. There’s only one you.
Own your shit
Whether it’s spending x amount on a pair of shoes, staying home, making a bold fashion choice, or eating food, just fucking own it. I’m sick of seeing people judge others for simple indulgences or just being themselves. If you’re doing what you love, who gives a flying fuck about what everyone else thinks?
I challenge you to go and do something that scares you in an unapologetic way.